On "Power"...Giving it...Getting it....

Somebody said something to me recently about "Giving away your power..".... And it somehow stayed with me somehow.... So here's the thing about power from my point of view... Power is a state of consciousness....An "Essence" really.. Hence, One simply CANNOT GIVE it away.......... Having said that, it would seem that we can easily SHIRK our power, giving off the ILLUSION of handing it over to someone else... For Power, in and of itself, is either THERE, (in our DNA), or it's NOT.. POWER is a TRAGICALLY misunderstood and MIS-HANDLED entity... If we choose to simply not APPEAR to "OWN" our power for a period of time, that is NOT to say that we've GIVEN it to someone else.. Au Contraire really... PERHAPS REAL, ORGANIC POWER is found in those PRECISE moments,, when others "THINK" that they've out-foxed us...duped us somehow... The POWER then is in ALLOWING them to "THINK" whatever they choose..

Those REALLY ANNOYING, plastic holder things on Soda....

I've been itching  for a VERY LONG time to lament ....BIG TIME...
about those CRAZY, PLASTIC things that are wrapped around 6-packs of soda....
You KNOW EXACTLY the things I'm referring to...
Those little, STRETCHY DEVILS that I find myself literally STRUGGLING with...
Pulling and out-foxing,,,,,
Jockeying and Flailing,,,,,,,,,
 JUST to get the Freakin' soda bottle OUT from under their smarmy grip !!!!
And then....
to add insult to injury...
after the INSANE sparring match has come to an end.....
and you sit DRIPPING with sweat....DEPLETED...on the kitchen floor.....
PARCHED...RED in the face,,,
Thirsting....
You open that soda bottle....RELIEVED....ANTICIPATING the sweet,
cold liquid hitting your tongue.....quenching that mind-blowing thirst...
And the entire thing EXPLODES in your face !!!!
because of the RIDICULOUS SHAKING and PIVOTING and ROCKING
that it's gone through during the battle....
Am I the ONLY victim of this INJUSTICE ??????

On Superfluous Opinions....

So we ALL pretty much "kowtow" to others judgments, opinions, advice...
Even though....
(And this is ALWAYS the case!)
Even though......
There is a gnawing, little voice in the back of our heads.....
 telling us as plain as day.......
that .......
"WHAT """"THEY"""" THINK DOESN'T MATTER"....
When.....
In actuality....
ONLY what ""they"" think matters...
Let's face it...
We are Aristotelian Puppets ...
Political...Weak...
all vying for the CHANCE to just OCCUPY the GOLDEN THRONE....
if only for a millisecond....
Oh, yes...
We spend our precious time jockeying for position and status and recognition....
ALL...
Mind you...ALL...
in the name of LOVE and BELONGING-NESS....
 

On "Keepin it Light"...

I think that we can all agree that the "UBER-DRAMA" thing is never the way to go....
All the Hollywood ups and downs become tiresome and redundant quickly...
No question...

Having said that...
What's up with the "Keeping it Light" thing ???
What does it mean ?
That REALITY should not be allowed in from the cold ?
That ONLY sunshine and popsicles are deemed appropriate dining options on the Menu of Life ?

What happens when there is a Death ?
or a Fire ?
Should these things not be disclosed to the "Keeping it Light" people ?

What if you have a BONE TO PICK with a member of the "Keeping it Light" order ?
Just FORGET about it ????
Let Bygones become Bygones ?

What about DEPTH ?
What about Homeless People and Cancer Kids and The HOLOCAUST ???
What about GOD ?

Is GOD keeping it light ???

How long must we PLAY the "Keeping it Light" card ?
(if at all...?)

The Shelves were stocked with ORANGES and TURPENTINE....

On this icy and grey day....
the scent of ORANGES could be detected even from a distance...
The cold itself, somehow, made the oranges that much more INVITING....
That Citrus Aroma ....Heady ...
And yet...
as per usual.....
the TURPENTINE took its place on the center stage of her sojourn.......
For the turpentine was like blood for her....like AIR....
It literally THINNED the membrane ...the cartilage....
which had collected, yet again, in her mind's eye....
And of course,
as that "silver thread" of "Artistry"....of "Creation-ism"
was physically loosened by the onslaught of FIGURATIVE TURPENTINE...
(the "turp" having been CROWDING the CREATIVE CENTER)...
Ideas and Imaginings and STAUNCH, HARDY IMAGERY began flowing lovingly...
with free reign even,,,,,,,'
out from under the shackles of MOVING BOXES and other sundry PARAPHERNALIA....

And so it went.....
Winter was upon them.......

She just could NOT get SETTLED....

What was it exactly that was standing in her way ?

Was it the boxes of "stuff" still waiting to be unpacked ?
Was it the sheer confluence of space which felt almost superfluous to her?
Was it the "realization of a dream"?
The Fantasy becoming the Reality ?
Was it the fact that she had SUCH a hard time GIFTING herself with ANYTHING ?
For example:
The easel(s) should ABSOLUTELY go into the DINING ROOM....
NO QUESTION ABOUT IT...
That's where the MAGIC would happen...
the sunlight...the brick....the pure CHI of the spot really...
But in her almost "Stockholm Syndrome-ish" way, she felt that she was actually
BETRAYING the DINING TABLE !!!!

Hellllloooo !!!

The DINING TABLE did not have feelings!!!!
(Except in Shamanism!) 
 LOL

And EVEN THOUGH she had effortlessly set up the dining table in the
 LOVELY and AMPLE KITCHEN ....

The woman felt GUILTY 100% of the time...
What was THAT ???

Her "Child of Holocaust Survivors" upbringing ??
Her Judaism ?
Her Mistaken Marriages ?
Somebody needed to SHAKE THIS WOMAN but good !!!

ENOUGH already....

 

I won't insult you with the "Let's be GRATEFUL" Vitriol....

I mean....COME ON....
There are PLENTY of people in this "great country" who are DYING for a break...
a smidgen of LUCK....
a bit of LOVE even....
There are people who are simply DYING...
Should THEY be GRATEFUL ??
For WHAT exactly ?
And who, prey tell, are WE, to FORCE our PATRONIZING PLATITUDES upon them ??

Nor will I Re-Hammer the story of the Pilgrims making their arduous way to Freedom and Democracy...
(YAWN)
Do we THINK we live in a DEMOCRACY ???
Last time I checked, the MAYOR of New York was DICTATING (emphasis on DICK!)
what he THINKS our level of POLYUNSATURATED FAT INTAKE should be....
Democracy ?
Oligarchy maybe ?

This year, for the first time in MANY years,
Thanksgiving and Chanukah coincide....
This seems Arbitrary, at best....No big deal, albeit perhaps a bit odd...
But this COLLISION of Momentous Days got me thinking....

What are we all doing here  ?
SURVIVING ??
TRYING ???
BUILDING ???
Have we reached the CONSUMMATE, EXISTENTIAL DILEMMA ?
Is there GOLD at the end of our HOLIDAY RAINBOW ???
How are the RATES on GOLD today anyway ??

Will TURKEYS stuffed with POTATO PANCAKES really assuage the suffering of the masses ?
of the FEW perhaps ?

Are we making the BEST of a BAD situation ?
or...
Are we simply being HUMAN and finding BASIC ways
 to REJOICE and REGROUP and RECONNOITER ???

What say you ?

 

And after ALL this time....Suburbia Tomorrow....

After EVERYTHING....
After the Urban Legends....
Even after the Urban Myths  ....
After the comings and goings of cars and tables and boyfriends and parties ...
and apartments by the dozen...
of SHOULD I's...
and COULD I's....
and plants dying...
and Parents crumbling....
and sweet doggies being put to sleep...
After the Rib Roasts...
and the Whole Foods...
And the Yoga...
And the Kosher Nosh....lol
After the Bar Mitzvahs and the Weddings...
and the Funerals and the Divorces...
After the SHULS and the SCHOOLS .....
and the POOLS and the RULES......
and the Trips.......and the Music.....yeah...THE MUSIC...
After the DRAMA and the BLISS and the HEARTACHE and the UTTER CHAOS......
and after the LAUGHTER...
The TORRENTS OF PURE, UNDILUTED LAUGHTER...

When ALL is said and done....

Fay Toby Gotesman and Brendan Isaac Schneier are finally :

IN DAAA HOUUUSE......
 

JUST DESSERTS...

Funny thing.....
It seems to me that "JUST DESSERTS are neither SWEET enough...
nor JUST enough ....
to be labeled "Just Desserts"....
Nonetheless.....
Dessert is SERVED....
And is the JUST DESSERT served BEST "COLD" ????
When does the "punishment" long surpass "the crime" ?
What is RETRIBUTION ???
Is it a DIVINE ORDER ?
or...
Is it simply US beating OURSELVES over our DAFT HEADS.....
with a RED, DENSE BRICK ....
in order to somehow LOOSEN a modicum of REGRET ?
(The REGRET PARTICLE has been buried beneath SINEW and BRAIN "MATTER" for a VERY long time!)
 "EXPOSED BRICK" comes to mind somehow...

In any case, MUST we FORGIVE ourselves for MIS-DEEDS ??
for MIS-STEPS ?
Were they INDEED MIS-ANYTHINGS ????
Isn't everything EXACTLY as it should be ?
(What IDIOT said that ??)
Turkey and Stuffing and Tryptophan...
Mis-sed TRIPS to ITALY and SWITZERLAND....
AND FLORIDA !!!!
EXPOSED BRICK indeed...
Movers...Shakers....
DIATRIBE....
Assistant Rabbis...Garage Attendants...
HOLIDAYS confusing our ALREADY-SPENT capabilities....
Turkeys, in fact, stuffed with POTATO PANCAKES....
Which holiday is it again ????
Yellow Boxes and Red Books and Blue Hats....
Maserati...Benz....Whaaaat ???

And our lovely Hair...the color of Cinnamon and Nutmeg...

Yup....





 

Privacy or What ???

We ask ourselves throughout our lives....
time and time again...

Is being ALONE "LONELY"?

OR...

Is it GRAND ?

Does curling up and watching a great, old movie.>>>>> ALONE
LOSE SOMETHING without the very SPECIFIC feel of a MAN "spooning" you at the same time ?

Is COMPROMISE WISE ?
Is SHARING necessarily BETTER ???
more meaningful somehow ?

And what if the compromise is SO COMPROMISING ........
that you YOURSELF get lost in the shuffle of MEDIOCRITY ?
of GREY AREA ??

Is there room in ANYONE'S CAVE for an EQUAL ?
Or is every union really somewhat LOPSIDED,,,,,
 hence FILLING the inevitable, PREGNANT SCIZM of UNEVEN DISTRIBUTION
with words and hands and food and bathwater ???
and SEX ??

Wouldn't it be SIMPLER somehow to just HAVE the hands, food, and SEX
WITHOUT
committing to enormously HEIGHTENED LEVELS OF COMPROMISE ???

What say you ?



 

On "Judgement"...

Yes, my friends....
Like it or not....We JUDGE....
Interestingly, the concept of "JUDGEMENT" has taken on very negative connotations...

But let's face it, Watson....
We are not perpetually in a state of Savasana... (Corpse Pose)...
where we've been ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY attempting to EMPTY OURSELVES of ALL things TANGIBLE..
Life is not one big YOGA MAT...

 In reality, our ability to JUDGE is simply a human mechanism
 which serves as our Intellectual and Moral GUIDE....
OF COURSE, we judge...
We judge OTHERS on their CHOICES, their LOOKS, their TASTE, their RELATIONSHIPS...
For God's sake.....EVERYTHING we do is motivated by some level of JUDGEMENT...
And it goes without saying, (sadly, I suppose)
that we spend 150% of our time JUDGING OURSELVES...
(in most cases, pretty damn harshly!)

So...my message on this Veteran's Day, 2013 ?

Perhaps RETHINK your perception of "JUDGEMENT"...
And cut yourself a little slack......
 

A Plethora of Choices...

Too many to count...
Flying at me like Whirling Dervishes...
Houses...Castles....
A RED Roof...
A Cobblestone walkway...
Swiss Cheese...
Contests...
REALLY YOUNG MEN...
OLD-ish ones...
(with probable SAGGY TUSHIES!)
ewwww
Highlights...Lowlights...
Funky...Classic....
ELVIS COSTELLO...
KENNY ROGERS ??
Whaaat ?
Facebook...
Twitter...
Italy...
(Italy's a No-Brainer!!) 
ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS...
ENGLEWOOD PROPER....
Do I ?
Can I ?
WILL I ?
9 months to decide ?????
Like a PREGNANCY....
Is 9 months a LONG TIME ?
Or just the "bat of an eyelash"?
NOT a FALSE EYELASH...


 

The Hunt for FABULOUS....

First and foremost, let me say that JEWS DO NOT HUNT.....(fact!)
It is simply "not done", generally speaking...
Indeed, we have very strict  codes in place with regard to the most "merciful killing" of animals...
Having said all of the above....
I, MYSELF, have been involved in a HUNT as of late...
NOT a hunt for ANIMALS...Nooooo...God forbid!
Rather, a hunt for a HOUSE...
A labor-intensive, stress inducing chase to the ultimate finish line...
(The finish line being a FABULOUS HOUSE in a FABULOUS LOCATION....
with FABULOUS NEIGHBORS,,,,FABULOUS APPLIANCES....
and of course....a FABULOUSLY LOW PRICE!)
Well...
I'm here to report that the HUNT FOR FABULOUS is NOT without its problems, hindrances, and obstacles,,,,
AU CONTRAIRE...
THIS Road is chock-full of TINY, LITTLE, IDIOSYNCRATIC HOO HAA!
What COLOR is your HAIR ?
How BLUE is your BLOOD ?
What IF ...
Then WHAT ???
They are SO CAREFUL, that they end up SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT...
Hence becoming STUCK in the QUAGMIRE OF PICKYOOOONY- ness....
 STUCK, I tell you !!!!
with CHEAP FIXTURES and REALLY OLD OVENS and PLUMBING that is SO ARCHAIC
that one must, quite literally, LEAVE THE HOUSE in order to SHOWER...
Whaaaaat ???!!!


 

Old Friends....New Friends....

They come and go...
The FUN ones...
The HOT ones...
The MEAN ones....
The CRAZY ones...
People saunter in and out of your life with frequency and commitment to the
"NON-COMMITAL STANCE"...
And some STAY the distance...
They park their tattered and war-torn vehicles in the "HALL OF Long-Term Gobbledygook"...
And they STAY...
Getting Ticketed, Booted,,,,,TOWED EVEN....
Their commitment to the GREATER PICTURE of FRIENDSHIP and BLISS is...
UNWAVERING....
They are NON-PLUSSED by Societal Meandering and Yodeling...
They bring baskets full of BAGELS...
tied with RED and YELLOW ribbon...
All-the-while knowing FULL WELL that the scrumptious,
 Heaps of
DOUGH and WHITE FLOUR
score a BIG ZERO on the scoreboard of ALL THINGS  NUTRITIONAL...
And yet...
As you spread the "buttered love" on the obsequious, and UNDER-APPRECIATED objects...
you smile, a bitter-sweet, ever-so-delicate smile....
 remembering a time, not so very long ago....
 when you REALLY BELIEVED that
FRIENSHIP was FOREVER...
that LOVE was EVERYTHING....
And so it goes...

A GOOD Toby Story......

When's the last time you guys heard a good TOBY story ???
Here's one:
After an ENDLESS DAY of JUGGLING MINUTIA, I was on my way home, and stopped on a hill behind a black car...
The guy was literally just sitting there playing with his phone...
I could not get by, so I honked 2x...
He then turned his POLICE LIGHTS on and drove away...
A few minutes later, lo and behold, he is behind me, siren ...going...
I pull over,,,he comes over to the car,,,
and he says, "LICENSE AND REGISTRATION"...
I go, "ARE YOU SERIOUS ???"
He goes "DEAD SERIOUS"...
I go, "Listen, pal, you were sitting in the middle of the road not moving...
just playing with your phone....Had I KNOWN you were a cop, I would not have honked at all, but WHY NOT honk at some random guy blocking traffic for no reason?"
He goes, "I don't care"
I go, "THIS SMELLS AND FEELS LIKE ENTRAPMENT....Look me dead in the eye and tell me I did something SITATION-WORTHY":
I go on to say: "I'm gonna get you for this...It smacks of entrapment and ANTISEMITISM!"
He goes, "Whaaaaaatttt ???? Antisemitism ???? Where did you come up with that ????"
I go, "Im a Jewish woman driving a Mercedes an hour before Shabbos...
I wasn't speeding...I wasn't on the phone...I did not honk excessively...
What, SIR, would YOU label this as ?"
He goes, "OK OK... Relaxxxxx....It's just a warning..no ticket..."
I go, "A warning against WHAT ???"
He goes, "Go home, and please forget this whole incident ....MYBAD..."

On Teeny, Tiny Oranges....(and Life)...

As I actually, literally REVELED in the FLAVOR and SUCCULENCE
of a very TINY, PERFECT orange...
it dawned upon me , with utter clarity....
that sweet, succulent moments...
are indeed few and far between...
That EVERYTHING GOOD is fleeting...
Interestingly, this reality only seems to pertain  to POSITIVE times...
For it would appear that the BAD TIMES strrrrrretch on.....
often times without an end in site....

So...
WHY am I writing about something as trivial and non-negotiably inconsequential as an  ORANGE, you ask ???
Not to worry, dear readers !
I am not looking to embark upon some theory of quasi-existential "nonsense"....
I am not admonishing YOU, or even MYSELF, for not APPRECIATING LIFE....blah blah...

Rather....
I am simply, humbly suggesting....
 that PERHAPS....
 we should attempt to HOLD ON to these droplets of extraordinary SUGAR....
even for just a little longer than our comfort levels allow...

What would that look like ?

There was a Blue Haze Over Everything Today....

The Haze came NOT from the recent Equinox...
Nor did it appear to stem from any specific weather pattern...
Rather...
This somewhat smoky, decidedly ethereal, "entity" appeared to be JUST THAT...
Some sort of Heavenly Body....
A Spirit perhaps...
For she knew FULL WELL that NOBODY else was experiencing it...
Just SHE...
She stood next to the river, drinking iced tea...contemplating...
And her BLUE "friend" floated just above her ....
Hearkening somehow...

On Tragedy....

What constitutes TRAGEDY ?

Is it 2 planes hitting 2 buildings and exploding on impact, killing and maiming countless people ?

Is it the bodies that were buried alive beneath the rubble and debris of the Twin Towers, never to be found ?

Is it the SHIFT in society which occurred just immediately after the crashes ?

Is it the fact that we now have to UN-dress in order to board a flight ?

Is it that EVERYWHERE we turn, there are policemen, rendering this place an essential POLICE STATE ?

Is it TRAGIC that our "revered INTELLIGENCE" didn't KNOW ?

How about the fact that we literally CRINGE at the site of a TURBAN ???
Is that TRAGIC ?

What constitutes a TRAGEDY ?

On this Misty day....

She felt the cold thud of raindrops falling on her shoulders and face as she ran for the car...

The rain was hard...BLUNT against her skin...

And the day was hot...humid...

So much so that the condensation created a veritable CLOUD of SMOKE sizzling UP out of the streets....

Something about this site made her feel sentimental....nostalgic...wistful even..

Summer was done....Just like that....

The carefree, barefooted days were being replaced imminently with short , dark ones...

There would be Beef Stew and Hot Chocolate....

No more Pink Lemonade....

She brushed a TEAR from her face...

At least she THOUGHT it was a TEAR..

Perhaps it was simply a lone raindrop, clinging ever-so-tightly to her still SUN-KISSED cheeks...

 

And They Wore Hats....

The redheaded ladies...
Hats adorned with feathers and ribbons and lemons...
One sparkly redhead even wore a CEMENT BLOCK on her head...
And they paraded along Main Street as though they OWNED IT....
as though they OWNED MAIN STREET...
For the ONLY establishments OPEN on this particular, GREY MORNING of the parade
were Hat Stores,,,,
Hat Makers and off-the-rack Hat shops lined the streets of the small,seaside town....
MANY of the redheads were nibbling on Rhubarb as they strutted their stuff ....
being cheered on by HOARDS of Beachcombers and Religious Emissaries...
And well...
The rest ??
I'll have to ponder that....