The Hunt for FABULOUS....

First and foremost, let me say that JEWS DO NOT HUNT.....(fact!)
It is simply "not done", generally speaking...
Indeed, we have very strict  codes in place with regard to the most "merciful killing" of animals...
Having said all of the above....
I, MYSELF, have been involved in a HUNT as of late...
NOT a hunt for ANIMALS...Nooooo...God forbid!
Rather, a hunt for a HOUSE...
A labor-intensive, stress inducing chase to the ultimate finish line...
(The finish line being a FABULOUS HOUSE in a FABULOUS LOCATION....
with FABULOUS NEIGHBORS,,,,FABULOUS APPLIANCES....
and of course....a FABULOUSLY LOW PRICE!)
Well...
I'm here to report that the HUNT FOR FABULOUS is NOT without its problems, hindrances, and obstacles,,,,
AU CONTRAIRE...
THIS Road is chock-full of TINY, LITTLE, IDIOSYNCRATIC HOO HAA!
What COLOR is your HAIR ?
How BLUE is your BLOOD ?
What IF ...
Then WHAT ???
They are SO CAREFUL, that they end up SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT...
Hence becoming STUCK in the QUAGMIRE OF PICKYOOOONY- ness....
 STUCK, I tell you !!!!
with CHEAP FIXTURES and REALLY OLD OVENS and PLUMBING that is SO ARCHAIC
that one must, quite literally, LEAVE THE HOUSE in order to SHOWER...
Whaaaaat ???!!!